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Showing posts from November, 2018

mom guilt.

My mom was a stay at home mom.  She was always there whenever we needed her, and in my adolescent brain, that was what a mom was supposed to do.  Dads went to work, and moms cleaned the house, did the laundry, catered to their children's every whim, made dinner... you get it.  Fast forward a decade and you will find Amber Hodges teaching full time and expecting her first baby.

Dewy and I always have had the same goals when it came to finances, albeit different ways of achieving them.  He believes in working, budgeting, and saving.  I believe in winning the lottery.  So when it became evident that I wasn't going to be able to quit my job and stay home when Rhett arrived, I had a really hard time.  I spent hours in the middle of sleepless nights crying on the couch talking to my unborn baby and telling him how sorry I was that I had already failed him.  What kind of mother left someone else to raise her baby? Barbaric, right? My actions and feelings caused Dewy stress and some g…

whatcha reading wednesday.

Shatter Me 
By: Tahereh Mafi
This book is about a girl who has a blessing/curse of not being able to touch people.  If she makes physical contact with another person, she electrocutes and kills them.  I know, I know... it sounds weird.  Trust me on this one.  A certain corrupt government found out about her gift when she killed a small child while trying to save him from his abusive mother, and threw her in to prison. They offer her the chance for freedom from the prison walls if she cooperates and acts as their weapon.  She breaks free and spends the remainder of the book on the run trying to hide, while also trying to figure out how to be in a romantic relationship.  The story line is intense, but the thing about this book that I loved the most is the way it is written.  The pages are loaded with words that have a strike through in them, as if you were watching the girl having an internal debate.  It is an amazing thematic element the author uses, and totally adds to the intensity a…

teachers.

A week ago I was presented with a video that, quite frankly, disgusted me.  I was offended and super angry, but I also recognized that not every person would have had the same reaction to that video.  I shared it with a few people, gauged reactions, asked for honest opinions, and learned a significant amount about how people view public education, teachers, etc.  I always love hearing different points of view, and although I may not always agree, I am always intrigued by what makes people believe what they do. 

Anyway... The video bugged me for days. I feel like people have some really strong opinions about education and the right and wrongs ways to do it--myself included--but the overall delivery of this message really got under my skin.  I'm not going to share the link here, because I don't want to waste my energy.  For a week now I've been annoyed, but this morning my mind switched. 

I have taught for nine years.  Almost an entire decade.  I get friend requests from for…

i'm ready for my award now...

According to Jen Sincero, the energy you put into the universe will come back to you.  So the way I see it, the reason I always find awesome humans everywhere I go is because I'm awesome.  Right? One of the hardest parts of moving from our first home was the people we left behind.  I can honestly say that coming to terms with the idea of not seeing my neighbors every day is what took us so long to list the house.  We were sure there was never going to be another group like them.  How could there be? Now, let's be clear that our Harrisville posse has NOT been replaced.  However, we've landed a North Ogden tribe and we are growing rather fond of them.  We have been having iron chef competitions among these new friends, and this weekend we did a Friendsgiving with the competition being pie.  I was obviously a shoe in for champion, so I figured I would show you how I work my pie magic!
Making pie is an art form, and before you can begin you have to prepare accordingly.  That …

...who more than self their country loved...

Politics freak me out.  Not the laws, or the offices, or the ideas, but rather the anger, the bullying, and how in your face people get.  I feel like all too often we forget that we are actually on the same team here.  Just because we have different opinions about guns or health care, doesn't mean we don't all want a better country.  A safer country.  A kinder country.  Sometimes I want to tell everyone to take a deep breath and go back to their corner for crying out loud, but that is a topic for another day.

The last ten days have been harrowing around here.  I reside in the beautiful town of North Ogden, Utah, and eleven days ago we lost our mayor while he bravely served our country overseas.  Major Brent Taylor left behind a beautiful wife, seven children--the youngest just 11 months old and the oldest a student where I teach, and an intensely supportive community.  I've shared several social media posts over the last few days, but haven't sat down to explain my own…

you're welcome boy scouts of america.

When you are as big of a deal as the Hodges, you get invited to special events.  I'm not going to tell you who is the cooler Hodges that landed the invite... ok, fine... it was Dewy.  All these events are because of Dewy.  He is awesome at what he does, and I get to attend fancy evenings because of it.  Saturday was a benefit dinner and silent auction fundraiser for the Boy Scouts of America, and we went ahead and graced everyone with our presence. 
Years ago, when we were invited to our first event, neither of us had participated in a formal silent auction.  Now, I am obviously the spender of the family, and when Dewy is left to his own devices he cannot be trusted.  He is a saver, so spending money is not his area of expertise like it is mine.  On that night, he thought it would be a good idea to place the minimum bid on any item he deemed interesting and see what happened.  Rookie mistake.  Two car loads of crap and a ton of money later, we ended our evening.  I thought Dewy wa…

meet baylor.

I was sitting on the couch one afternoon when Dewy called me during his lunch.   We talked for a bit, and he casually suggested I should take a pregnancy test.  This was about as shocking as when Joey used the word "whom" that Friends episode.  We were not even trying to get pregnant.  In fact, we religiously employed two methods of birth control.  It took us forever to get Larsen; there was no way I was pregnant.  One symptom that has been universal for me when pregnant is complete and total rage.  When I was pregnant with Rhett--before we actually knew--I punched a door off the hinges.  I wish I were kidding.  And please don't tell my grandma, since we were living at her house.  Apparently, I may have been a little testy over the previous few days, and he had a hunch.  As a joke, I told him I would take one and call him back.  Turned out, the joke was on me.

I sat there in the bathroom staring at the double line in disbelief as Larsen screamed his head off on the othe…

knock it right off

Working in the junior high means I get to see a lot of things--some good, some bad.  Lots of ugly and lots of smelly.  One thing I see repeatedly, however, is people being mean to each other.  And I'm not just talking about the students.  Parents are mean to each other.  Parents are mean to staff and teachers.  Teachers are mean to each other.  Teachers are mean to parents and students.  Students are mean to staff and teachers.  I want to strap a Go-Pro to my head and let the world see exactly what I see, because I think the majority of society would be appalled. And this morning I realized that I have had enough.

The problem is, I don't feel like this behavior is strictly found inside the walls of this school.  In fact, if we are being honest with ourselves, I think the same behavior is found literally everywhere.  People are mean.  And right now "bullying" is a buzz word.  Now, I'm not going to point the finger at everyone else.  I'm the meanest human I kno…

beauty is pain. and expensive.

A few weeks ago, at Sunday dinner, my dad asked why my legs looked so tan.  This spurred an entire conversation about how high maintenance I am.  I am a firm believer that you cannot serve from an empty cup.  Therefore, I am not ashamed to admit that I LOVE doing things for myself--pedicures, working out, hair, nails, lashes, massages, you get it--but over the years I have decided that there are some things I refuse to pay for, and some things I refuse to do myself.


Everyone, meet Maria.  She is practically a dream come true.  Six years ago she gave me lash extensions, then went ahead an moved to Boise because she is rude.  You can´t just dangle the carrot! She finally came to her senses and moved back, and I've been a thorn in her side ever since.  Just kidding.  I´m like her favorite person.  Maria is a certified esthetician, and a lash wizard.  I send everyone I know her way, and many of my friends--back me up here--see her regularly.  She is professional, hilarious, and just a…

meet larsen

When Rhett was 18 months old, we decided to try for baby number two.  I wanted my kids to be 2-3 years apart, so that was perfect timing, and since Rhett came so easily I never considered any other way.  We didn't tell anyone we were trying, but after about 8 months and no success we started talking about it a little bit with our family.  We went through a few different tests when we were trying to have Larsen, and one of which was completely awful.  My doctor suggested doing and HSG--there is a ridiculously long name for it--which is, as he described it, an X-ray.  Sounds harmless, right? I thought so too.

When I got to the radiology department at the hospital, the woman walking me back asked what I was there for that day.  I told her an x-ray, and she asked what kind.  I told her I thought it was called an HSG, and she said that was correct.  I changed into a gown, and waited for the lucky person who was going to check out my insides.  A tech came in, and had me hop up on the ta…