cookie monster

I'm not awesome at very many things...ok that's a lie.  I'm awesome at a lot of things.  There is one thing, however, that I am positive no one can beat me at.  I've honed my skills, and perfected it over the course of a few years.  You guessed it... chocolate chip cookies.  I will never claim to be a bakerella--entrees are more my style--but there isn't a soul on earth who can make a better chocolate chip cookie.  The last time I whipped up a batch, I thought about the connection making cookies has to life.  Wait... you mean you DON'T look for baking metaphors? You should get that looked at.

 Lesson #1: Always keep it real.  Be the same in the dark as you are in the light.  No one likes a fake human being, and I hate to break it to you plastics--where are all my Mean Girl fans--we can all tell when it isn't real.  Same goes for cookies, people...KEEP IT REAL! Real butter, real chocolate chips, real vanilla... no one likes the imitation semi-sweet crap.  Don't act like everything is rosy when it isn't.  Don't say anything behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face.  That has always been my motto.  Unfortunately, there is very little that I wouldn't say to someone's face... so that's comforting to everyone I'm sure.

Lesson #2: Stick to the plan, but recognize when improv is appropriate.  You would never make cookies and randomly switch the measurements for vanilla and flour, right?  Similarly, you would never want to switch the timing for kids and retirement! In life, there is a natural order of things.  Some things are not negotiable--deodorant, changing your oil, breaking the KitKat bars before you eat them--but some things are optional.  You want some crunch in your cookies? Go nuts.  See what I did there?  You want a spur of the moment weekend getaway? Do it.  Pay off the credit card later.  Don't tell Dewy I said that... or my dad.

 Lesson #3:  Everything in moderation.  There is such a thing as too much of a good thing.  Just because I love butter--which I do--doesn't mean my cookies will taste good when I double what the recipe calls for.  In a recipe, and in life, ratios are key.  I always find that my happiness is strained when one area of my life is helter skelter.  If my focus shifts solely to working out, my family life suffers.  If my focus shifts solely to keeping my kids happy, I'm a horrible wife.  You get it.  A good recipe balances out the sweet and the salty, the wet and the dry.

Lesson #4:  The right tools make everything easier.  A few years ago a package arrived on my doorstep.  While this is not an abnormal occurrence--you're welcome postal workers everywhere--I did not order this particular package. One glance at the box labelled "KitchenAid" and my Mother's Day surprise came crashing down.  I, however, danced with glee.  Some girls are furious about appliances for gifts, but I had been wanting one for years.  My domestic goddess status was about to reach a whole new level.  This machine would mix dough, shred chicken, cut pasta... basically dinner time was going to be a breeze.  All I needed was a magic attachment to make my kids eat all their dinner without whining.  The same concept applies in life.  Life is so much easier with the right tools--use a trencher when you lay out a sprinkler system on your own, wash your clothes in the machine not with a rock in a stream, don't make a decision without praying first.  Figure out what tools you're missing, and for crying out loud use them! Also don't go 9 years without a cookie scoop like I did.  Use two spoons to load up a cookie sheet?  What am I, some kind of savage?

Lesson #5:  Live a little dangerously and don't forget to enjoy the ride.  Is there anyone on earth who makes cookies and doesn't sample the dough? I feel like the threat of salmonella was made by a terrorist, and it isn't even real.  Taste the dough, speak to a crowd, try something new...put your pride in your pocket, muster up 20 minutes of insane courage, and do it.  If you make cookies solely for the end result, you've missed half the fun.  Who doesn't love cleaning up an entire egg your seven year old slammed on the counter when he was "helping" you cook? The shock on his face made it totally worth it.  Don't miss out on the journey because you were plowing to get to the end.  Over the last couple years I realize I've spent so much time waiting to be happy.  When my kids sleep through the night, I'll be happy.  When my house is built, I'll be happy.  When my hair is long, I'll be happy.  I forget to look for the joy in every day, sometimes, so this lesson is for me.  Minus the living dangerously part.  I drive without my seat belt on.  If it's my time to die, it's my time to die.  Don't tell my mom I said that.